Sales Leadership Lesson #2 from the Movie “Elf”

Fighting for your vices

One of the most common leadership pitfalls is not recognizing when some kind of behavior has become a vice.  Vices prevent great coaching and leadership.  Ironically, leaders fight for their vices all the time.

They just don’t know any better.

In the movie “Elf” starring Will Ferrell as Buddy the Elf and James Caan as his father, Caan is surprised one Christmas when Buddy shows up and tells him that he is Buddy’s father. After first denying it (a typical blindspot), Caan accepts it but keeps Buddy at a distance.

Eventually Caan is pressured by his wife and son to take Buddy into their home.  Buddy is a train wreck with everything.  He unwittingly sabotages Caan’s meetings.  To Caan, Buddy is a nightmare that won’t go away.  He cannot see the good in Buddy, can’t see Buddy’s enormous heart and love for the joyful part of the commercial Christmas, because Buddy is a polar opposite of the father.

Caan’s blindspot is he fights to hold onto the world he has created because that world brings him joy.  Ironically, he would have far greater joy if he gave that up.  His professional success, his lifestyle, his routines, his status all mean too much to him.  Anything that challenges this world is a virus that must be eliminated.  Bringing another person into his life would be too disruptive.  It’s not something Caan planned for.  It’s not something he is open to.

I fought for many years for the vice of  an image I wanted to convey to the world as I built a business.  I was into appearances.  The casualty that I couldn’t see (blindspot) was in my being emotionally distant from my family and disconnected from my community.  Yet I convinced myself I was working so hard and building the business, not for me, but for my family.  When I admitted to myself that I was doing it for me, I had a breakthrough.

What vices do you fight for? Is it envy for what others have and you don’t?  Is it the image that you crave from a title?  Is it relentless achieving?  Is it a beef with a neighbor who’s wrong and you’re right (pride)?  Is it with a salesperson  who’s not taking your coaching?  Do you judge him and see him as a problem to be fixed?  These vices that you fight for prevent you from emerging as a greater coach and leader because they trap you in a small world.  A world of scarcity, not a world of abundance.

I’d like to see you keep fighting – but aim the fight at your ego.  It’s the source of energy of fighting for your vices.  Don’t let your ego “rescue” you when you’re faced with the choice of being honest with yourself, or continuing to keep your distance.

Good Selling,

 

Mark Sellers

Author, Blindspots: The Hidden Killer of Sales Coaching, and The Funnel Principle: What Every Salesperson Must Know About Selling

Creator of the BuyCycle Funnel customer buying journey sales model, the most time tested, proven customer buying journey model on the market

Buy the book Blindspots here

Buy The Funnel Principle book here

Learn more about coaching and leading with short videos like this one on our website

Sales Leadership Lessons from the Movie “Elf”

Want to be a better sales leader?  Learn to deal with your “Elf”.

My family and I watched a favorite movie this Christmas, “Elf”, and while I knew it would make me laugh I didn’t know I would learn some leadership lessons from it.   Here’s lesson number 1:

 Denying your blindspots

You may know the plot. Buddy the Elf, played by Will Ferrell, finds out he has a father (James Caan’s character), so Buddy walks from the North Pole to New York City during Christmas to find him.   Caan is married, middle-aged, and the father of a 10-year old boy.  He’s also a workaholic executive in the children’s book publishing business.  Buddy finds him and that’s when Cann learns that Buddy is the outcome of a romantic relationship Cann had when he was much younger.

What’s Caan’s first blindspot behavior when he finds this out?  He denies it. A son he didn’t know he had?  An elf?  Gimme a break, he thinks.

Denying is what makes your blindspots flourish and your leadership weaker.  When you deny things that are true about yourself you keep yourself from yourself and prevent yourself from being the leader you could be.

This is a problem.  You don’t trust leaders who you think are phony do you?  So why should others follow you when you’re not fully true?

Denying sometimes looks like this.  Have you ever been asked to volunteer for something and said no because you were too busy or tired?  There’s no crime in saying no, but here’s the kicker: did you justify “no” by telling yourself it’s because you were busy, or by telling yourself you preferred busy to volunteering?

Or, have you said no to an invitation from friends to go out, and justified it by working late instead? It looks authentic doesn’t it, being busy, working late, being tired.  But how often does this happen? Are these honest reasons every time or are they your built-in excuses that you leverage?  Are you being honest with yourself?

Do you have someone on your team who you struggle to lead?  Someone you don’t connect with because he or she is very different from you? Does this person not take your coaching?  Do you get frustrated and impatient?  Maybe you’ve concluded that he’s the problem, not your coaching.  Is it possible that you’ve not found the right way to coach and lead him?  Are you being honest?

People ask me “how do I uncover my blindspots when I can’t see them?”  It seems impossible, but there is a right place to begin.  Start by being honest with yourself.  Take ownership of your beliefs and the actions that follow.  But – and this is critical – don’t judge yourself when you discover an unflattering behavior, or more.  If you judge yourself when you’re trying to discover yourself, your ego will come running to the rescue and convince you it’s not your fault.  You’re busy! You’re working late!  Your coaching is awesome – he just doesn’t get it!

Don’t let your ego win.  Instead, be honest. Surrender.  Discover.  And feel how liberating that is.  You’ll change how you see and lead people.  And people will notice.

To be a greater coach and leader you’ll have to confront your “Elf”, that is, the thing you are denying that prevents you from getting closer to you.

 

Good Selling,

 

Mark Sellers

Author, Blindspots: The Hidden Killer of Sales Coaching, and The Funnel Principle: What Every Salesperson Must Know About Selling

Creator of the BuyCycle Funnel customer buying journey sales model, the most time tested, proven customer buying journey model on the market

Buy the book Blindspots here

Buy The Funnel Principle book here

Learn more about coaching and leading with short videos like this one on our website